Our Frozen Lake
by bookdiva
Summary: My take on 6x11, because we all knew I would jump on this particular bandwagon! lol This starts with the ending (of the episode) and moves on to my take on the following events. Hope you all like it :) If you have time, please leave a review on the way out.


_**AN: So… it wouldn't be right if I didn't jump on this bandwagon! It was too good to pass up, but I hope this is something sorta different. And thanks, as always, to Fern for looking this over for me even at this busy time!**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

><p>"Go for Santa," Deeks said, skidding to a stop in front of me. I took a deep breath, but as he smiled and flipped his hair out of his eyes—which was really unproductive as it just fell right back into his line of sight—I felt my mind go blank.<p>

_Think Kensi!_ I commanded myself. _You need to say this. You _practiced_ this! Something about… about… um, safety? Being bold. Right. Okay._

"What's going on?" Deeks's worried voice cut through the fog and snapped me out of my thoughts. "You're freaking me out."

"Oh my gosh," I finally let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding since our conversation with Joelle that morning—maybe even longer. "You plan these things to say, and when the time comes, you can't say them…"

I looked up into his intoxicating blue eyes, and I was startled at what I saw there. There was worry, sure, but there was also something else. Something I'd been seeing in his eyes for a long time, but only identified on one night. Our night.

_Be bold,_ I reminded myself. I looked down and gathered the courage to continue.

"Umm… Just you and me. Kensi and Deeks, Deeks and Kensi," I began. "A-alone we're bold. We're brash. We can move mountains… And together, we're… umm…" I trailed off and looked back up into his eyes. I could tell he was terrified.

"We're safe," he finished, his voice hard.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Together we're safe." His eyes flashed in pain again. Suddenly I heard this whole conversation form his perspective, and I realized what this sounded like.

"Yeah," he said, looking away from me and clearly trying to hold himself together. "I know."

He was a good undercover operative—I'd give him that—but I could still read him. And I could tell that he was internalizing the blame. He was pulling away.

"I want to be bold, Deeks," I finally managed, briefly contemplating the role reversal we'd undergone in the last year and a half. He was still tense, so I grabbed his hand and laced my fingers through his. His eyes immediately jumped up to my face, and a hopeful gleam appeared in them. I smiled and slid a little closer to him. "But I wanna be bold with _you_."

_Only with you,_ I added with my eyes, not quite brave enough to say that part aloud yet. Luckily, Deeks seemed to get my message.

"So no more games, then?" he asked after a moment, his tone full of disbelief and longing. I just smiled, knowing that this was the moment for me to reassure him.

"No more games," I agreed.

"Chips on the table?" he pressed. At that, I couldn't help my smile widening.

"All in," I said, the words feeling freeing instead of restricting. He made a soft sound of disbelief, but then he smiled that smile that made my knees go weak.

"All in," he repeated my vow. My smile was so wide my cheeks hurt, but I hardly even noticed.

"Tonight," I said evenly, and I smiled at his widening eyes.

"Tomorrow?" he questioned, and I nodded.

"And the day af—"

And suddenly nothing else mattered, because he was kissing me. It reminded me so much of the kiss we'd shared before he'd been taken by Siderov, and I couldn't help but think he'd done that on purpose, to give us a new, fresh start.

As soon as he pulled back, I opened my eyes and searched his face. I knew that part of both of us would be waiting for the earth to open, or the world to end, or something terrible to happen—and we probably would be for weeks—but nothing happened. Slowly, his eyes slid open and met mine.

He looked slightly dazed—an expression I was sure I was mirroring—and I couldn't help but smile. He smiled back at me, and then we met in a deeper, more passionate kiss.

It was like nothing I'd ever felt before, and I lost myself in the sensations for a long moment.

Again, Deeks pulled back. I couldn't help the soft moan of discontent that slipped past my lips, and he laughed. I scowled at him and pulled him back down to me, kissing that laugh from his lips.

After a moment, he pulled back again, still laughing. I tried to glare at him, but there was no heat behind it, and he knew it.

"So that frozen lake thing…" he began, and I smiled.

"I think we made it across," I said. He grinned at me. I reached up to pull him back down to me, but he skated out of my grasp. He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, twirling me around again.

"What are you doing?" I screeched with a laugh.

"Not that I'm not totally cool with everyone knowing," he said, propelling me forward at a more moderate speed, "But I also value my life. And both Sam and Callen are here."

I felt my cheeks redden.

"Did they—"

"I don't know," he answered. I nodded. "Are you okay with that?" he asked. I just smiled.

"Yeah," I answered, surprising both him and myself. "Yeah, I am. Are…" I trailed off nervously. "Are you?"

He looked down.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "I mean, part of me wants to shout it from the hilltops—maybe even rent out a billboard," I laughed at that. "I want to be bold with you, too, Kens," he said softly, pulling me closer as we continued to skate in a circle. "But the last few times I tried to be bold…"

I nodded in understanding. He'd been bold when he'd kissed me on that hilltop… and then he'd been taken and tortured. He'd been bold when he finally said what he meant… and then I'd been shipped off to Afghanistan.

"You were bold," I stated firmly. "You acted, and you said what you meant. And now it's my turn." He looked up at me with a trust I knew I didn't deserve. I'd spend the rest of my life trying to deserve it, though, if he'd let me. "But now I'm ready to be bold _with_ you. Now we can be bold _together_. And I think…" I trailed off, trying to put my emotions into words. "I think that'll make all the difference."

He just smiled, and his shoulders relaxed.

"Together, Fern," he said with a smile that turned mischievous. "You know, it's a good thing I'm such a good skater," he said, spinning around yet again and skating backwards. "A frozen lake is no match for me!"

"And just like that… the moment's gone," I said, because I knew he expected me to, but I couldn't keep the smile off my face or out of my voice.

He just laughed.

"Well, you're stuck with me and my moments now, Fern," he said, gliding to a stop near the entrance to the rink. I just shrugged.

"I'm okay with that," I said nonchalantly. I met his gaze and smiled. "I'm really okay with that."

"Uncle Marty!" Kamran called, bringing us back into reality. Deeks turned to her with a wide smile, and Sam and Michelle headed over to us.

Kamran stopped just short of throwing herself into Deeks's arms, seeming to only remember her hot chocolate at the last moment. She skidded to a stop on the other side of the rink wall. Deeks leaned against the wall and grinned down at the little girl.

"Kamaroon!" he said, just as excitedly as the little girl. "Look at you! You've gotten so big!"

She giggled and jumped up onto the bench behind her, getting even taller.

"I know!" she proclaimed with Hanna-like confidence. "And pretty soon I'll be this big!"

Deeks managed to keep a semi-serious expression on his face, though I could tell he was trying hard not to laugh.

"You sure will be, kiddo," he said. Sam, Michelle, Aiden, and I all smiled at them.

"So, are you coming to our house for Christmas, Uncle Marty?" Kamran asked, turning her hopeful brown eyes up toward Deeks.

"You're more than welcome, Deeks," Sam said. "You too, Kens," he added. "If you don't have plans with your mom."

I looked up at Deeks, silently asking a question with my eyes. He looked down at me, and while fear flashed briefly in his eyes, I could also see the determination in them.

"Actually, Kens and I are headed out of town for a few days," he answered Kamran, avoiding Sam's surprised, probing gaze. Sam turned his gaze toward me, and I smiled but shook my head. Sam nodded, understanding that _yes_ it was what he was thinking, and _no _he should not make a big deal out of it.

I caught Michelle's knowing look and blushed slightly.

"But," Deeks continued, whispering conspiratorially to Kamran, "I just heard some new intel. You want in?" Kamran nodded eagerly, easily jumping into their spy game from when they'd babysat. "I heard that Elsa and Kristof are gonna try to throw Ana a birthday party!"

The look on Kamran's face was absolutely priceless, but it had nothing on the baffled, amused, shocked look Sam was donning. I laughed out loud. Only Deeks would openly admit to such intimate knowledge of a Disney Princess movie.

"Don't mock, Fern," Deeks said, looking down at me. "You know you loved that movie. You watch it anymore, and it'll give Titanic a run for its money."

"Yeah, Fern!" Kamran backed Deeks up. "You told me you like Kristof cause he reminds you of Uncle Marty!"

Immediately my face heated in a deep blush, and I leaned forward as we all laughed. I turned to Deeks, but instead of punching him lightly—as I knew he expected—I slipped my arm through his. He smiled down at me, clearly content in our small, albeit bold, step forward.

"It's uh, good to see you, too, Aiden," I managed to collect myself and acknowledge Sam's son.

"You're a tad bit bigger, too, man," Deeks cut in. Aiden smiled at us and shrugged.

"Navy Academy," he said with a smile. "It's good to see you too, Fern."

I just smiled and shook my head. Thanks to Deeks, both of Sam's kids would forever call me Fern.

"Hmmm…" Sam said, nodding toward the gate on the other side of the ice where Callen and Joelle were walking off. "Looks like she's giving him another chance."

"He deserves it," I said firmly. I felt Deeks tighten his grip on my arm, and I smiled up at him. Then Deeks turned to Kamran.

"So, Kamaroon…" Deeks said, grinning at her mischievously. "Since your dad can't skate, I don't suppose you'd want to join me for a twirl about this fine frozen lake?" he asked. Kamran jumped up immediately with a whoop!

"I could skate if I wanted to!" Sam protested, but we all just laughed. Kamran ignored her dad and just looked up at her mom.

"Can I, mom?" she pleaded. Michelle nodded and Kamran wobbled to the entrance. I squeezed Deeks's hand once more before sliding to meet Kamran at the entrance. I helped her onto the ice as I stepped off. As soon as she was on the ice, Deeks grabbed her hand and pulled her off. She giggled as he pulled her along, twirling her and calling out random ice skating moves much the same way he had with me, earlier.

"So, you two are going away for the holidays?" Sam asked, his tone clearly probing. Michelle elbowed him, but I just smiled.

"We are," I confirmed with a nod. "And before you ask, yes. It is exactly what you think it is."

Michelle shot me a proud smile, but Sam just smirked slightly.

"And what, exactly, is it that I think?" he asked. I began to respond when we were cut off by a loud shriek of delight. Sam, Michelle, and I turned to see Deeks lift Kamran above his head. He eased her back onto the ice and continued around the rink with his pint-sized skating partner. After watching them a moment longer, I turned back to Sam and Michelle.

"We crossed our Frozen Lake."


End file.
